Thrive Boldly: The 3-Brain Perspective on Gendered Conversations: A Neurobiological Exploration + A Balanced Dinner Recipe

I love a good coffee shop—partly for the matcha lattes, but also for the people-watching (or, let’s be honest, some light eavesdropping) to get a sense of the local vibe.

Lately, I’ve noticed something interesting: when men meet in coffee shops, they talk about business—how they can make deals, grow their enterprises, and collaborate. Their conversations are often direct, goal-oriented, and transactional.

Meanwhile, my not-so-subtle eavesdropping on women’s conversations reveals a different pattern. Women tend to focus on relationships—discussing their own, analyzing others’, and diving deep into emotional and social dynamics.

At first glance, these topics might seem to come from different worlds. But when you look at it through the 3-brain perspective and neurobiology, the reasons behind these differences start to make fascinating sense.

The 3-Brain Model: Why We Talk the Way We Do

Our conversations are shaped by more than just personality or culture—they’re influenced by the three-brain model, which explains how we process the world:

• Head Brain – Governs logic, analysis, and problem-solving.

• Heart Brain – Influences emotions, empathy, and social bonds.

• Gut Brain – Supports instinct, digestion, and survival responses.

These three systems work together, subtly shaping how we communicate and interact.

Men & The Head Brain: Conversations often focus on business, strategy, and competition. Higher testosterone levels drive achievement-oriented behavior, making goal-setting and problem-solving natural conversation themes. Business discussions also engage the stomach brain, activating a sense of security, control, and calculated risk-taking.

 Women & The Heart Brain: Relationship-focused conversations stimulate oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which enhances emotional depth, empathy, and connection. Discussing social dynamics engages the heart brain, while intuitive decisions—especially in relationships—tap into the gut brain for social survival and emotional well-being.

This isn’t to say that women don’t meet to talk business or that men don’t engage in deep relational conversations—of course, they do. I'm not thick. But in my humble coffee shop experiment, I was curious about the tendency for one type of conversation to predominate. And sure enough, the pattern emerged: more often than not, men leaned into business, while women leaned into relationships.

And if it’s a man and a woman? Well, then it’s anyone’s guess!

Balanced Dinner Recipe: Nourishing the Three Brains

This meal supports cognitive clarity, emotional well-being, and gut health, ensuring that your mind, heart, and gut are all well-nourished.

 Grilled Salmon with Quinoa & Roasted Vegetables

 Head Brain: Omega-3-rich salmon enhances cognitive function and mental clarity.

 Heart Brain: The antioxidants in colorful veggies support emotional balance. 

Gut Brain: Quinoa provides fiber for gut health, stabilizing digestion and mood.

Ingredients:

• 2 salmon fillets

• 1 cup quinoa

• 1 cup Brussels sprouts, halved

• 1 sweet potato, diced

• 1 carrot, sliced

• 2 tbsp olive oil

• Juice of 1 lemon

• Salt & pepper to taste

• 1 tsp turmeric (anti-inflammatory)

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C). Toss Brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, and carrots with olive oil, salt, and turmeric. Roast for 25-30 min.

2. Cook quinoa per package instructions. Fluff with a fork.

3. Season salmon with salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Grill for 4-5 min per side.

4. Plate salmon over quinoa with roasted veggies on the side.

Drink Pairing: Green Tea with Lemon & Ginger

Green tea contains L-theanine, which supports focus (head brain) and reduces stress (heart brain), while ginger supports digestion (stomach brain). Just seep the two tea bags together and enjoy the blend.

Mantra Pairing: “I nourish my mind, heart, and gut with every choice I make.”

Use this as a mindful eating affirmation to shift your body into a relaxed, parasympathetic state for optimal digestion.

Music Pairing: A Coffee Shop Soundtrack for Balanced Conversations

Masculine Energy – “So What” – Miles DavisA smooth yet sophisticated jazz classic that embodies confidence, strategy, and an effortless cool—perfect for engaging the head brain with logical, business-minded conversations.

Feminine Energy – “Put Your Records On” – Corinne Bailey RaeLight, soulful, and effortlessly charming, this song radiates warmth, connection, and ease—activating the heart brain for relationship-focused, feel-good discussions.

Both tracks create a balanced coffee shop atmosphere where business talk and heart-to-heart conversations can flow effortlessly.