Thrive Boldly: The Neurobiology of Courage vs. Fearlessness: A Three-Brain Perspective

Elizabeth Gilbert wisely said, 'Fear is a giant part of creativity,' and while fearlessness may seem appealing, it's bravery—acting despite fear—that truly leads to growth and transformation.

In her Calm Masterclass, she says (and I am providing the whole quote here because it is a Thanksgiving feast in itself):

“People ask me how I learned how to be fearless in my creativity. I answer them, I am not fearless, I am brave. They are two very different concepts. To be fearless means you do not experience the sensation of fear in your life. I have met a few people in my journeys that I would define as fearless and I can tell you… you do not want to be a fearless person. If you are around them and you look in their eyes, you see that missing piece of humanity. And you realize they are going to make your life and their own life incredibly dangerous…You don’t want to be that. What you want to be is brave. And brave for me does not mean pounding fear, like you are a Marine—you are going to kick its ass and you are going to teach it a lesson. This is how we teach fearlessness and bravery in this culture, and all I ever see is it leading to more fear, more constriction, more obstacles….every time that I have fought against fear it fights me back harder. So when I go head to head against fear, fear shows me how much stronger it is than me and I always lose… this is not the way. There is a gentler way. That way is to accept the presence of fear, to befriend it, to allow it to exist…”

Let’s explore this deeply, because let’s face it, Elizabeth Gilbert sort of knows it all.

The Scene: The Middle School Hallway – The First Battle of Courage vs. Fearlessness

I remember the days when my daughter first entered middle school—when she transitioned from the safety of elementary school to the more complex world of tween’agers. It’s in these hallways that the seeds of courage and fearlessness are planted.

After school pick up one day, my daughter got in the car, clearly exhausted and needing to dissect a scene that had unfolded before her that day. A classmate, who had always been kind and a little shy, was being picked on by a bully - one of the self-proclaimed popular girls who thought the shy girl was not dressed in accordance to her standards. In that moment, my daughter faced a choice: Should she step in, back her friend, and risk becoming the next target? Or should she stay quiet, pretend she didn’t see anything, and avoid becoming the bully’s next victim?

Despite feeling quite intimidated and with a bit of trepidation, she walked over to her friend, told the bully she indeed liked her friend's style, and anyway, who really cares what she wore - "it's just clothes our parents’ buy us anyway," and stood by her friend’s side. She chose courage. In choosing courage, she required the strength of her heart, head, and gut – her strong desire to protect her friend, her understanding of right and wrong, and the gut feeling that standing up for her was the only option.

Meanwhile, another girl in the group took a different approach: Instead of confronting the bully, she befriended her, going along and pretending to play it cool. While this may have appeared courageous (she was fearless in the face of the bully), it lacked the integrity of true bravery. It was fearlessness—bold but rooted in self-preservation rather than principle, overlooking the consequences of betrayal and complacency. Though fearlessness can sometimes arise from confidence or past experiences, it lacks the deeper integration of values and purpose that courage embodies.

These playground scenes mark the beginning of the battle between courage and fearlessness. As we grow older, the stakes become higher, but the choices often remain the same—do we act with bravery, grounded in our values, or do we make decisions that appear fearless but come at the cost of harm to ourselves or others?

(I acknowledge that there are two kinds of fearlessness: one that is magnetic — those who disrupt, or speak with raw clarity and an eye toward justice. The other comes from confusing boldness with ruthlessness and recklessness, heroism with self-centeredness, and the kind that leaves people in heaps as collateral damage - this is the kind we are speaking to here. The deeper power is courage — the choice to keep showing up, heart racing, hands trembling, and still daring to speak or stay or walk away with your soul intact.)

What’s Going On Under the Hood: The Neurobiology of Courage and Fearlessness

When we make decisions that require boldness—whether it's in the face of a bully or a challenging decision in our careers or relationships—there’s a complex set of processes happening inside our brains and bodies. These processes are influenced by the three brains (head, heart, and gut) and involve intricate interactions between our nervous system, hormones, and neurotransmitters.

Here’s a simplified, but relevant, breakdown of what’s happening in our bodies when we make these decisions:

1. The Head Brain: The Prefrontal Cortex and Decision-Making

The prefrontal cortex (PFC), located in the front of the brain, is where we make rational decisions. When faced with a tough decision, like whether to intervene in a situation or protect ourselves, the PFC weighs the options, considering both logical reasoning and the potential consequences of each action.

• Courage: Courageous decisions often come from a place of values alignment and long-term thinking. The PFC uses executive function to evaluate potential outcomes and chooses an action that may not be easy or safe, but aligns with a larger moral framework. In my daughter’s case, she evaluated the potential consequences of standing up for her friend and chose the path that felt right—even though it wasn’t the easy one.

• Fearlessness: Fearless decisions, on the other hand, might come from a place of impulsivity and self-preservation. The PFC may override deeper moral reasoning in favor of immediate gratification or avoiding discomfort, leading to risky or bold decisions without fully considering the consequences.

  
  

2. The Heart Brain: Emotions and Social Bonding

When we experience courage, compassion, or appreciation, our heart rate becomes more coherent—that is, it follows a smooth, rhythmic pattern instead of a jagged or erratic one. This state of heart coherence is more than just poetic—it's deeply physiological and has powerful effects on how we think, feel, and act:

• Courage: Courageous decisions are often rooted in a strong emotional connection to others—empathy and compassion guide us. When my daughter stood up for her friend, she likely felt a surge of empathy for the victim, which activated her heart brain and drove her to act in a way that was emotionally congruent with her values, regardless of the risk.

• Fearlessness: Fearless actions can stem from detachment or a lack of empathy. The heart brain might be less active in these instances, leading to decisions made with little emotional consideration of others’ feelings or consequences. A person who acts purely out of fearlessness might be more self-focused, protecting their own interests at the expense of social bonds or ethical considerations.

3. The Gut Brain: Intuition and Survival Instincts

The gut brain (the enteric nervous system) governs our intuition and instinctual reactions. It’s often referred to as our “second brain” because it has its own network of neurons and can send strong signals to the brain, especially during high-stress or emotionally charged situations.

• Courage: Courage often arises from gut instinct—a feeling deep within that something is right or wrong. The decision to act boldly in the face of danger often comes from this primal part of the brain, which is deeply connected to our survival instincts. In the case of bravery, however, the gut brain isn’t solely acting out of fear—it’s evaluating the larger picture, weighing personal sacrifice for the sake of higher goals, such as protecting others or standing for what’s right.

• Fearlessness: Fearlessness is often a gut reaction to avoid discomfort, and in some cases, it can be rooted in overconfidence or numbness to consequences. Fearless individuals may ignore the gut’s warning signals, choosing bold actions based on an urge for excitement or self-interest, rather than careful reflection.

  
  

Neurotransmitters and Hormones

This distinction can also be understood in part through the role of neurotransmitters and hormones. For example, dopamine, often referred to as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, plays a significant role in motivating us towards courageous actions by rewarding positive behavior and reinforcing our decisions. On the other hand, adrenaline fuels the "fight or flight" response and can trigger fearlessness—pushing us to act quickly and boldly, but without considering the deeper consequences. These chemicals influence how we experience and act on fear, but true courage requires a deeper connection to values and goals that go beyond immediate biochemical responses.

The Balancing Act: Courage, Bravery, and Fearlessness

Courage, as we can see, is a balance between the rational mind, the emotional heart, and the gut’s instincts. It’s rooted in the ability to choose an action that aligns with our values and long-term vision, even when it requires discomfort or sacrifice. Fearlessness, on the other hand, lacks this balance and can lead to impulsive or reckless choices, driven more by a need to escape fear than a desire to act in a morally grounded way.

Examples of Courageous vs. Fearless Characters:

Couragous: 

• Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird embodies courage because he chooses to defend an innocent man, despite the emotional and social consequences. His decision is rooted in his values and a sense of responsibility.

• Erin Brockovich (from the film based on a true story) fights for justice for a community affected by toxic waste. Her courage isn’t about a lack of fear but a fierce sense of responsibility and moral clarity in the face of powerful opposition.

  
  

  Fearless: 

• The Joker (The Dark Knight) represents a character who is fearless, but his lack of empathy and moral compass leads him down a destructive path. Fearlessness, when it lacks courage, becomes a tool for manipulation and chaos.

• Cersei Lannister (Game of Thrones) acts without fear, manipulating people and events to retain power. But her lack of empathy and disregard for consequence reveals how fearlessness without ethics can be corrosive, even self-destructive.

  
  

  Fearless, with a squeeze of courage:

• Jack Reacher (Reacher) embodies fearlessness, charging into situations without hesitation, driven by a strong sense of justice. However, his bold actions often lead to collateral damage—hurting innocent bystanders or damaging relationships. While his motives are rooted in fairness, his impulsiveness means he doesn't always consider the consequences. Over time, his character develops the marks of courage, while fearlessness remains in play.

• Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road) begins as fearless — defying a tyrant, risking everything. But over time, her fierce compassion and drive to protect others reveal a deeper courage that transcends raw bravery.

Celebration of Bravery Dinner (Gut-Focused)

To honor the gut brain, let’s celebrate bravery with a nourishing dinner that focuses on grounding and strengthening the body. This meal symbolizes the strength and resilience that come from trusting our instincts.

“I Lived” Bravery Dinner Menu

A celebration of courageous integration: grounded gut, open heart, and clear mind.

Appetizer:

Roasted Root Vegetables with Lemon-Tahini DressingGrounding, earthy, and gut-calming.

Ingredients:

• 2 carrots, peeled and chopped

• 2 sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped

• 2 beets, peeled and chopped

• 2 tbsp olive oil

• Sea salt and cracked pepper to taste

• Optional: a pinch of cumin for warmth

Tahini Dressing

• 2 tbsp tahini

• Juice of ½ lemon

• 1 tsp maple syrup

• 1 small garlic clove, crushed

• 1–2 tbsp warm water (to thin)

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C).

2. Toss chopped veggies in olive oil, salt, and pepper.

3. Roast for 30–35 minutes until tender and slightly caramelized.

4. Whisk together tahini dressing and drizzle over warm vegetables before serving.

Rich in fiber, prebiotics, and polyphenols to support the microbiome.

Main Course:

Grilled Salmon (or Tempeh) with Quinoa and Lemon-Garlic Greens

Ingredients:

• 2 salmon fillets (or tempeh blocks, sliced)

• 1 cup quinoa

• 2 cups water or broth

• 4 cups leafy greens (spinach, kale, or chard)

• 1 garlic clove, minced

• 1 tbsp olive oil

• Juice of ½ lemon

• Salt and pepper

Instructions:

1. Cook quinoa: rinse, bring to boil with water or broth, simmer 15 minutes.

2. Grill salmon/tempeh with salt, pepper, and olive oil until golden (4–6 min/side).

3. Sauté greens with olive oil and garlic until wilted, finish with lemon juice.

4. Plate quinoa as the base, layer greens, and top with salmon or tempeh.

Omega-3s in salmon boost cognitive flexibility and mood. Greens and quinoa support neurotransmitter synthesis and gut-brain harmony.

Dessert:

Dark Chocolate with Chili and Sea SaltA spark of bravery to end on a bold and warm note.

Ingredients:

• 100g good-quality dark chocolate (70% or higher)

• Pinch of chili flakes

• Pinch of flaky sea salt

Instructions:

1. Melt dark chocolate gently (or serve whole).

2. Sprinkle with a touch of chili and flaky salt and pour into a mold to shape. Let cool and serve.  

Chocolate contains phenylethylamine (the “bravery molecule”); chili increases circulation and triggers endorphins.

Courageous Drink Pairing:

Citrus-Ginger Sparkler with Rosemary

Bright, clarifying, and bold—like bravery in a glass.

Ingredients:

• Juice of 1 orange

• Juice of ½ lemon

• 1-inch fresh ginger, grated

• Sparkling water

• Sprig of rosemary (optional)

Instructions:

1. Mix orange, lemon juice, and grated ginger in a shaker or glass.

2. Top with sparkling water and a rosemary sprig.

3. Serve over ice for a refreshing, uplifting drink.

Why it works: Ginger stimulates digestion (gut), citrus supports alertness (head), and rosemary promotes clarity and memory.

Mantra:

“I trust my head, heart, and gut to guide me through uncertainty.”

Music Pairing:

Choose songs that inspire strength, courage, and resilience, creating an emotional and mental atmosphere of bravery. My favorite: "I Lived" by One Republic – celebrates living life with boldness and courage, understanding the risks but appreciating the experience of moving forward with heart. Or "Brave" by Sarah Bareillis is an amazing anthem to burst out singing in your car to ready your courage muscle.

In the battle between courage and fearlessness, we see that true bravery comes from an alignment of head, heart, and gut. While fearlessness can be bold, it often lacks the depth, empathy, and integrity that make bravery so powerful. As we navigate life’s challenges, let’s choose bravery over fearlessness, knowing that it is only through the integration of our rational mind, emotional heart, and instinctive gut that we can truly live with purpose and integrity.